Imelda becomes a bag lady

Posted by in accessories, imelda

In this, the winter of HRH’s discontent, she’s made an alarming self-discovery: an old dog can be taught new tricks.

After being dragged by mah weave, kicking and screaming into PayPal’s $150 shopping challenge I discovered, much to my quelle horreur, that I enjoyed rummaging through penny bins for bargains.

Obviously this is a complete juxtaposition to the life of stomach churning excess I’ve so gleefully rubbed in your faces (on and offline).

Maybe it’s because at 81 and nearing the end…not wait, let’s not psycho-analyse this..

I’ve had a well-documented and tumultuous love affair with money since I was a young child living in the shadow of the Malaccan Palace. So much so, it’s been alleged that during the halcyon days of martial law, HRH drained the Philippines National Treasury to support my hobby.

Anyhoo, on to the segue.

At the behest of the Tyrant HRH was cruising the information super highway looking for navy dress slacks. Coming up empty handed I decided it was time HRH bought herself a little sumet-sumet.

Having already had a fantastic experience trawling through the penny bins over on Urban Outfitters where the Tyrant took delivery of $500 worth of socks and shoes almost instantly,  I wanted to give the site another go.

With no idea what my sumet-sumet was going to be, I took a meander through those aforementioned dump bins when I was immediately taken by this ‘The Brother Bray and Co.’ tote.

Indigo denim trimmed with camel leather, it was a stylish replacement for the Despotic Queen’s current Dior Homme tote.

Even better was the petty-pant-wetting price of $59.99 (NOW $39.99…grrr), which, after applying my 10% coupon (oh yes! Not only is HRH the sale Ibis she’s now collecting coupons like a morbidly obese mid-western housewife…a shame spiral will, undoubtable ensue) my new chitlen-smuggler was a ridiculously priced $53.99.

Unfortunately, my shopping high was tempered by Urban Outfitters’ flat-rate shipping fee of $35 USD. HRH was tempted to offset the postage by piling more sale goodness into her shopping cart but she wisely backed away from the interwebs, not before finalising her purchase.
And then 7 days to the exact date of purchase, the 7-headed beast of the apocalypse delivered unto HRH her new chitlen-smuggler.